Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I think I know how to end this blog.

I was recently asked a pretty mundane question that actually got me thinking: “What is the thing you’re most proud of in life?”

It didn’t take me any time at all to answer, despite the fact that I hadn’t tried to answer that question even once since I got home. The answer was strange to say. I guess I expected that when I got home, I would break up my experience into little successes and failures, that I would be able to say how proud I was to build a library, or to have taught in French… But it's not.

The fact is, we judge what we're proud of doing based on what other people think. That sounds seedy, but what is pride if not satisfaction derived from what everyone else deems worthy? It IS one of the seven deadly sins.

When I tell people I was in the Peace Corps, that's enough for them to say "wow! Where were you?" and I tell them where, and if they ask what I did I say I was a science teacher. And after that they say "Holy crap, that's really cool. That's incredible." And it's not because I taught science. People aren't very much impressed by a science teacher (though, they should be). It's because I up and joined the f***ing Peace Corps. Cut and dry.

So, what am I most proud of? Simply joining the Peace Corps, and following through. For me, there were a lot of meaningful experiences, a lot of failures, a few successes...but no one but another Peace Corps volunteer has the context to evaluate them. And we're not a judgmental bunch anyways (we know how much of both our failures and our successes were out of our control). The details will fade into memory. Think about it this way: have you ever wondered how successful a veteran was in the field? I'm guessing no. You just respect what they did, because you can't possibly fathom what it was...

I'm thinking about my current work with the Red Cross. I'm glad to be writing, proud of the moments when readers have complemented me on it, but let's be serious--I think it's way cooler that I’ve eaten dog, that I can convert CFA to dollars with effortless ease, that someone once tried to sell me a monkey, and so do they. The Peace Corps will probably overshadow everything I'll ever do for the rest of my life. (And that kind of makes me tear up...only because it's over.)

I think that's a good note to end the blog on. Thanks to everyone who followed along for the past two and a half years. It's been pretty wild.

-Jon